(Times Insider) For most of my 20 years as the obituaries editor of The New York Times -- a tour that ended recently with my retirement -- a certain New Yorker cartoon, enlarged and pasted on plastic foam, was displayed in the vicinity of my desk. It never failed to amuse me. The scene in the cartoon, by Paul Noth, is a cocktail party. A woman holding a glass of wine is standing beside a stoop-shouldered old fellow bearing a sour, pinched expression. She is introducing him to a man holding a drink.