Andrew Wood

MEMO ATTENTION: Greenwood Municipal Cemetery Staff Due to a clerical error, the Paranormal Society’s annual cemetery tour has been double booked with the interment of Dr. Felix Burnside. To properly honor our commitment to both parties, please give special attention to the details of the day’s agenda. 9:00-9:45 A.M.: Guest Arrival Funeral guests will be in mourning garb, as will most of the paranormal experience attendees, so you will need to confirm the purpose of the visit.

How late will Tyler be to the family reunion? • More than three hours late—61% chance If our cousin Tyler arrives more than three hours after the official 2 P.M. start time, the market resolves to YES. Outcome verified by Aunt Donna, who will be telling us how late Tyler is every 15 minutes. How much of Aunt Linda’s gelatin-based ham loaf will be eaten?

Sometimes you return a wave from someone walking toward you—only to realize they were waving at the person behind you. Perhaps you thought a friendly stranger was waving at you. Or, maybe it was your crush Lauren who may or may not know you exist. As soon as you realize your mistake, the situation is simple: either everyone watching, including Lauren, knows you just beclowned yourself by returning a wave that was not meant for you, or you act quickly to avoid humiliation.