Anna Ajayi

You know that instant connection that feels intense, consuming, almost too good to be true? Sometimes, it is. We often mistake intensity for intimacy. The initial spark, late-night talks, and the feeling that someone finally gets you can be addictive. It feels like love, like something written in the stars. But sometimes, what we’re calling chemistry is just two old wounds recognising each other. Many people confuse trauma bonding for genuine attraction because both can feel equally powerful.

We talk so much about red flags that we forget to celebrate the green ones. Dating these days feels like a survival of the fittest game. People ghost, trick you into a situationship, or you hear things like, “I’m not ready for a relationship”, right after they express having feelings for you. It's chaotic. No wonder everyone is on high alert for red flags. We’ve become experts at spotting what’s wrong, but somewhere along the line, we forgot how to recognise what’s right.

Ten friends cannot stay together for 10 years. Once upon a time, friendship was simple. You’d play for hours, gist about everything, crash at each other’s houses, and get angry when someone watched a new Baba Ajasco episode without you. Now, everyone’s juggling work, rent, relationships, and just trying to survive adulthood. The group chat is quiet, and plans hang in the air. Nobody’s mad, we’re just tired. The truth about friendship as you grow older is that it doesn’t exactly die; it just… evolves.