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Articles by Anna Pook
“All I Want for Christmas Is You,” Edited by Someone in Couples Therapy
I don’t want a lot for Christmas, but I do have some valid and reasonable expectations that I should feel safe to express. There is just one thing are several things I need: I actually do care about the presents underneath the Christmas tree. I just don’t want to gift wrap them on my own. There are more than you could ever know. Make my wish come true— All I want for Christmas is for you to pass me the Scotch Tape at that critical moment when I’m holding the gift wrap in place.
The New Yorker Daily Newsletter
The best movies of the year, according to our film critics Richard Brody and Justin Chang, may at first seem like an eclectic bunch. What could Leonardo DiCaprio as the perma-stoned, would-be revolutionary in “One Battle After Another” have in common with the Jim Crow-era vampires whom Michael B. Jordan (times two) battles in “Sinners”? Today, Brody and Chang join forces to discuss the big ideas in their favorite films of 2025.
The Magic Mirror Isn’t Being Axed for Political Reasons, Say Snow White’s Castle Representatives
It is with heavy hearts and zero scruples that we announce that The Magic Mirror is scheduled to be axed this spring.
The Real Victim of the Car Rental Lady in “Planes, Trains & Automobile” Speaks Out
Spare a thought for me, the Marathon Car Rental lady’s sister. Anna Pook · Follow Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket · 3 min read · -- Image fair use, altered by author Sure, Steve Martin has a rough ride trying to get home for Thanksgiving. But at least it ends well. Spare a thought for me, the Marathon Car Rental lady’s sister. Not only did I have to take her annoying call the day before Thanksgiving, but I have to deal with her for the entire holiday.
If the Magic from the Movie “Practical Magic” Had Actually Been Practical
“Practical Magic” Being able to light a candle without putting a flame to it. Actually Practical Magic Being able to feed a parking meter without putting money into it or having to download another one of those parking apps. Actually Practical Magic Bringing Monstera esqueleto, your expensive dead houseplant, back to life. “Practical Magic” Concocting midnight margaritas with eye of newt, toe of frog, wing of bat, tongue of dog, adder’s fork, blind worm’s sting, Barbados lime, and fragias salt.
I Followed Moo Deng’s Daily Routine, Here’s What I Learned
Moo Deng and I have a lot in common Anna Pook · Follow Published in Jane Austen’s Wastebasket · 4 min read · -- Image created in Canva “Moo Deng, the VIPigmy hippopotamus who has won social media’s heart, is now glam’s most influential “It” girl.” The New York Post, 26/09/2024 With over 2 million TikTok followers, and a new Sephora blush range in her honor, Moo Deng, a baby pygmy hippo at Thailand’s Khao Kheow Open Zoo, is now a bonafide lifestyle icon.
Brat Girl Summer, or Burned-Out Parent Summer?
• Your current aesthetic includes black sunglasses, just got out of bed hair, and a half unbuttoned shirt. • You have never felt this hot. • Every floor you walk on is sticky with so many spilled drinks. • Is that a stain on your white vest top? Probably…you’re past caring at this point. • You are surviving on little to no sleep. • You like to party, but secretly this summer is starting to feel like one never-ending rager that might send you over the edge.
To Enjoy Our Immersive Willy Wonka Experience All You Need Is Pure Imagination
As well as $45 and an oath that you won’t sue us So you’ve seen the hit musical “Wonka,” fallen in love with Timothée Chalamet’s incarnation of the quirky confectioner, and would like to celebrate the magic of chocolate with your kids.
Presidential Ways to Spend a Federal Holiday at Home with Your Kids
Washing Ton Have a huge pile of laundry to get through. Harass Son (William) Pester your teenage son to get out of bed. Tail Her Follow your newly crawling baby around to ensure she doesn’t put her clammy fingers in an electrical socket. Fill More Load yet another bowl with Cap’n Crunch—how do these kids eat so much of this stuff?! Pierce Struggle to get straws into those darn Capri Sun pouches. John Son! Order your squirming son to go to the toilet before you embark on a game of Monopoly.
Fruit-Peel Theories to Determine the Strength of Your Relationship
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Fruit-Peel Theories to Determine the Strength of Your Relationship
If your partner is willing to peel an orange for you, it means that they’re prepared to make sacrifices to prioritize your happiness. Either that, or they’ve also heard of the viral relationship challenge on TikTok, and you’re being played at your own game. If your partner is willing to peel a banana for you, they’re only interested in low-level commitment. Or perhaps you forgot to buy oranges, which means your heart’s not really in it, either. Call it quits.
The “Innkeeper” From The Nativity Story Sets The Record Straight
The “Innkeeper” From The Nativity Story Sets The Record Straight Every year, you guys recreate the nativity story, conveniently casting me as the villain with a glued-on beard. This December, before you get on your high horse about how you’d never turn away a pregnant teenager hours away from giving birth, let me set some facts straight. Firstly, there was no “inn.” That’s a mistranslation of kataluma in ancient Greek.
Reasons That “Love Actually” Could Never Be Made in 2023
Because of Brexit regulations, Jamie would be unable to stay in France long enough to see his first draft get rescued from a pond by his half-dressed Portuguese housekeeper. Instead, he’d be trying to complete his novel in the U.K., while supplementing his income with a teaching position that, owing to cuts to the creative-writing department, probably wouldn’t last the semester.
An Open Letter to All the Trees I’ve Ever Decorated
An Open Letter to All the Trees I’ve Ever Decorated This Christmas I would like to offer you an apology. For years I’ve blamed you for putting me off the decorating scene forever. In my defense, you weren't always model specimens.
Reasons Why “The Sixth Sense” is Bruce Willis’s Most Relatable Christmas Movie
Reasons Why “The Sixth Sense” is Bruce Willis’s Most Relatable Christmas Movie 1. To your horror, one kid already knows what his secret gift is. 2. Many of the “guests” at the house weren’t officially invited. 3. There is no discernible dress code—several visitors are in their Sunday best while others haven’t bothered to change out of their loungewear. 4. Someone keeps leaving all the kitchen cupboards open which is driving Mom crazy. 5.
Tween Pajama Party in the Early 90s, or Trump's "Secret" Meeting in 2021?
2. I mean, someone even goes to the trouble of writing "TOP SECRET" on everything in obnoxiously large print. 3. The multiple "TOP SECRET" warnings will probably not stop everyone present from blabbing to their neighbors, friends, families, pet dogs, or dangerous political enemies, of which there are MANY. 4. Someone casually asks for some Cokes to be brought in from the next room.
Bob Dylan Singing “Mr. Tambourine Man” or Your Toddler on an Average Day?
Invents silly names for the adults in their life. Demands you play a song for them even though it's ridiculous o'clock in the morning. Forgets to say “please.” Clearly underestimates how difficult it is to play a song on an instrument with no melodic function. Tells you in no uncertain terms that they are “NOT sleepy.” Has a lot to recount about their day, which seems to make perfect sense to them but not always to everyone else. Orders you to play the same song. Again.
The Many "Sides" of Motherhood
By Anna Pook Photo by humberto chavez on Unsplash Moms have sides you've never even noticed The side of your lower back which you swear has never recovered full sensation since you had that last-minute epidural. Images by author
Belle's "Little Town" from Beauty and the Beast Adapted for Macron's Retirement Reforms
BELLE: Little town, it was a quiet village Until today's visit from "Monsieur Reform" Little town, full of pissed-off people Banging their pans to say: No Reform! No Reform! No retirement reform! No...
Should Female Emancipation Come At The Expense of Food Storage Containers?
Image from the State Archives of Florida (Public Domain). Cropped from the original Here at the Daily Mail, we believe women's rights are important, just not as important as Tupperware. Those handy airtight containers can keep leftovers fresh for up to four or five days. There isn't a woman alive who can do that. Those iconic polyethylene boxes are symbolic of the post-war effort to get women back into their aprons, and we are deeply saddened to see those little burping guys go.
The Letter "A" in Scrabble or a Stay-at-Home Parent?
By Anna Pook You're also capable of working solo, but your A game gets zero recognition. 9. You cannot stand people who imagine you have nothing better to do than sit on the end of a S- O- F- A. Key: The Letter "A" in Scrabble: 1-12 Stay-at-Home Parent: 1-12 is a writer and translator, living and working in the suburbs of Paris. She has never worn a beret. Not even ironically. Words in McSweeney's, The Belladonna, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady and Litro Magazine. You can find her on Twitter @annapook.
What Has the Covid Pandemic Ever Done to Us?
Just look at the wide range of people who took part in our data survey. "What Has the Covid Pandemic Ever Done to Us?" is published by Anna Pook in Jane Austen's Wastebasket.
Beware of the Dog... Signs With Context
is a writer and translator, living and working in the suburbs of Paris. She has never worn a beret. Not even ironically. Words in McSweeney's, The Belladonna, Slackjaw, Little Old Lady and Litro Magazine. You can find her on Twitter @annapook.is an illustrator and writer published in The Belladonna, McSweeney's, and The New Yorker Daily Shouts; see more works at marissamaciel.com
Smartphones Killed the Shakespearean Plot
And you thought what video did to the radio star was bad… Heard there’s a remake set post-2022 The tragic fate of Capulet and Montague If this is true, Will Shakespeare’s plot is likely screwed Oh-a, oh-a They don’t use snail mail, ’cause to kids it’s obsolete Romeo and Juliet have smart technology So now their story arc lacks credibility Oh-a oh-a Tech-savvy children Oh-a oh-a Would send a DM Smartphones killed the Shakespearean plot Old Friar Laurence’s part has been dropped WhatsApp came...
How It Felt to Attend a Ouija Board Seance as a Teenager, or How It Feels to Leave Twitter Decades...
Once you cross over to the other side, there may be no coming back... You feel pressured into it because it's what all the cool, popular kids are doing. People have spent way more time talking about doing it than actually going through with it. Honestly, you're terrified because once you cross over to the other side, there may be no coming back. While your parents are familiar with the set up, they think it's a pretty dumb way of socializing, and certainly not something to lose sleep over.
Why Halloween Ends Is Nowhere Near as Scary as E.M. Forster's Literary Classic, Howards End
By Anna Pook The major obstacle is the powerful influence of one man: Michael Myers, an ageing serial killer who should really be hitting retirement Photo (left) from Merchant Ivory Productions. Photo (right) from Miramax Blumhouse Productions Trancas International Films, and Rough House Pictures. Fair use. Halloween Ends An entire community has to grapple with inherited trauma.
Everything I Learned from Jessica Fletcher about Being a Writer
Photos from Universal Television Corymore Productions (Fair Use). Photo illustration by Marissa Maciel 1. Writing is a lucrative career choice which brings both fame and fortune. 2. Writing isn't a particularly time-consuming activity. In fact, writers have more than enough time to solve complex murder investigations that have stumped their local police department for days, if not weeks. 3. Every time a writer sits down at their desk, they are beautifully coiffed and impeccably dressed. 4.
College Drama Workshop, or Clinical Depression?
A lot of time is spent walking aimlessly around a small empty space. In order to access your emotions, well-meaning but pushed-for-time professionals ask you to revisit childhood trauma. You hardly ever change out of your gray sweatsuit. The curtains remain closed, apart from the rare occasion you're ready to perform for an audience. The “audience” is entirely composed of friends and relatives who, if they were honest, would have preferred to stay at home.
My Kid's First Week of Junior High, or Cheryl Strayed's Hike on the Pacific Crest Trail?
1. The day she started off on this wild adventure, her monster of a bag weighed practically more than she did. 2. In hindsight, choosing not to attend orientation classes was a mistake. 3. The fear of not being properly equipped resulted in her carrying around a ridiculous amount of nonessential items. Literally everything but the kitchen sink. 4. Someone with her best interests at heart relished the opportunity to toss aside half of the bag's contents so the poor thing could stand up straight. 5.
Chris Pine's Agony from "Into the Woods" Vs. Chris Pine's Agony from Harry Styles Interview
By Anna Pook Agony! From these painful press tours. When there's nothing I'd rather do than run straight out that door. Badly rendered pic of Chris Pine Used with permission, image of forest from Unsplash "My favorite thing about the movie is, like, it feels like a movie. It feels like a real, like, go-to-the-theater film movie that, you...
In Addition to $10,000, Here Are Some Other Things I’d Like Forgiven from My Time in College
Acting as if stringing fairy lights up in my dorm room was an original design concept you'd see on the front pages of Architectural Digest. Taking my dirty laundry home every break so that my parents would do it for me. Hogging the library's only copy of Moby Dick for the entire first semester, but never getting further than chapter two. Making my non-improv friends come to my solo improv performance of Moby Dick (based on those first two chapters).
I Am a Neanderthal and I Resent Being Compared to Incompetent Governors
McSWEENEY'S INTERNET TENDENCY'S PATREON Help support our writers and keep our site ad-free. Become a McSweeney’s Internet Tendency patron today. March 5, 2021 “White House press secretary Jen Psaki on Thursday defended President Biden calling the decision of two GOP governors to lift mask mandates as ‘Neanderthal thinking’ after some conservatives took offense to the criticism.” – The Hill, 3/4/21 - - - Look, this is nothing new. We’re used to it. There’s a long history here.
Ready to Be Shameless
Introduction I Lining up for Nadia Bolz-Weber’s talk at Southwark Cathedral, I’m aware I don’t fit in. A young woman beside me is talking to her mother, describing the time she prayed in front of her friends. She wanted to illustrate how she speaks to Jesus in exactly the same way she does to them. She is so matter of fact about it I’m impressed; prayer seems part of her daily existence as a cup of coffee is to mine.
Ready to Be Shameless
Introduction I Lining up for Nadia Bolz-Weber’s talk at Southwark Cathedral, I’m aware I don’t fit in. A young woman beside me is talking to her mother, describing the time she prayed in front of her friends. She wanted to illustrate how she speaks to Jesus in exactly the same way she does to them. She is so matter of fact about it I’m impressed; prayer seems part of her daily existence as a cup of coffee is to mine.
PRINCE.SSE.S DES VILLES at Palais de Tokyo
Picture Credits: Sarker Protick The first question everyone asks when I say I’m attending an exhibition on the subject of the megacity is, ‘What exactly is a megacity?’ The Oxford dictionary definition: A very large city, typically with a population of over ten million.
Am Wife, Will Write
A WORD TO HUSBANDS “When we are listened to, it creates us, makes us unfold and expand. Ideas actually begin to grow within us and come to life.” (Brenda Ueland, If You Want to Write.) Whether you’re piecing together a collection of short stories, polishing the prose of your debut novel, or pondering life’s complexities in your private journal, there are numerous rules to follow if you wish to thrive as a writer and wife.
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