This account is defunct! Instead please try my blog or the following:
calebcrain.substack.com
@calebcrain@mastodon.social
@cablecrain on Instagram
Is this you? As a journalist, you can create a free Muck Rack account to customize your profile, list your contact preferences, and upload a portfolio of your best work.
Claim your profile
Articles by Caleb Crain
“Wishes and Fears,” by Caleb Crain
How much time do you have? I asked in reply. Maybe we better come back to it, the person who had been sitting across from me—who was now standing across from me—said, laughing. But then we might never come back, I said, tapping my card against the device on the table. Often people who take a break from math never do. That had been my own case. I had gone into novel-writing instead.
Looking Back at Lewis and Clark
If Meriwether Lewis and William Clark hadn’t gone up the Missouri River in 1804 and then down the lower Columbia River in 1805, there might today be less United States and more Canada. Lately, I have been having trouble imagining how that could be seen as a bad thing. Lewis and Clark have long had their skeptics. “The crossing of the continent was a great feat, but was nothing more,” Henry Adams wrote, more than a century ago, in his history of Thomas Jefferson’s Presidency.
Trying to Find the Right and True Way to Talk About Death Is Funny
“Why do you think it’s funny?” I asked. “Well, funny the way music can be funny, I suppose,” he replied. “Music is funny?” “Not all music, Sam. But a scherzo is funny, I think it’s safe to say. They wouldn’t call it that otherwise.” He liked to smuggle in a premise. In this case, that language carves up the world at the joints, that language has some kind of authority. Because it’s venerable? Because many hands were in at the making of it?
Another Cruise | Caleb Crain
This essay was written to accompany the conversation Caleb Crain recorded for Episode 17 of The World in Time, about “Queequeg in his Coffin,” Chapter 110 of Moby Dick. It appeared in a slightly different form in Crain’s Substack newsletter, Leaflet. I am now the age of Ahab, who, in chapter 132 of Moby Dick, tells Starbuck that he started whaling as “a boy-harpooneer of eighteen” and has spent “forty years on the pitiless sea.” I, too, have reached my implacability-and-fixed-purpose era.
Book Review: ‘The Scrapbook,’ by Heather Clark Original
THE SCRAPBOOK, by Heather Clark Germany’s cultural identity was spoiled by fascism.
In Photos: 'Of Montreal' in Concert
Underground Arts—an unassuming concert venue tucked just a few blocks north of Reading Terminal Market—sure lives up to its name. Upon entry, guests head down a stairwell into a music hall. With concrete floors, exposed brick, and hulking structural pillars, the place feels industrial, maybe even drab—but the barebones design provides a blank canvas for creativity. And on this Thursday night in late March, it’s filled with a symphony of sounds and a kaleidoscope of colors.
Upset of the Year: Men’s soccer defeats Pitt
The Daily Pennsylvanian is a student-run nonprofit. Please support us by disabling your ad blocker on our site. September feels like a long time ago, especially with the warm days of late spring and summer now in full swing in Philadelphia. But despite plenty of upsets by Penn teams over the course of this 2024-25 campaign, one must look back to its opening weeks to find the best. Penn men’s soccer opened its year — and the renovated Rhodes Field — on the Sunday night of Labor Day Weekend.
Caleb Crain | Putting the ‘student’ back in ‘student journalist’
Senior Column | Even after my tenure as an editor ended, The Daily Pennsylvanian still had important lessons for me. I still remember it vividly. The call came after midnight on Sunday, Nov. 19, 2023. It lasted just over a minute, but it still managed to change my life. In so many words, I learned that I was not going to be podcast editor on The Daily Pennsylvanian’s 140th Board. Once my term as sports editor concluded the following month, my time in the DP’s leadership would be done.
The sophomore forward put up much-improved numbers this year despite playing on a broken foot.
The sophomore forward has made significant improvements from an already-strong freshman year. Most warriors remain unsung. Behind the curtain, when the mask falls and the spotlight finally dims, that’s when one’s hard work can finally be recognized. Penn men’s basketball sophomore forward Augustus Gerhart embodies this quiet heroism as a determined character whose smiling, upbeat personality pairs with relentless work ethic to shape his growing role on the team.
Crain | A long look in the mirror for Penn men’s lacrosse
Last Saturday’s season-ending loss against Notre Dame is a microcosm of the Quakers’ season. It’s the hope that kills you. Thinking that you — or a group that you support — actually has a chance at victory, then having it taken away, seems more painful than never believing you had a chance at all. On Saturday, Penn men’s lacrosse gave me hope.
Inventing a Sustainable Future
The butterfly effect was initially developed by mathematician Edward Lorenz in the 1960s. He posited that a tornado could have been caused by something so seemingly unrelated as a butterfly flapping its wings halfway around the world weeks prior. In decades since, it has become a catch–all way to describe how everything in the universe is interconnected, and a seemingly minor shift can ultimately cause a much larger change. Lorenz’s example might not be true, but the underlying concept is.
Five milestones in Penn Relays attendance
The Penn Relay Carnival has brought millions to Franklin Field during its existence Each year, the Penn Relay Carnival is among the largest track and field meets in the world, bringing together thousands of high school, collegiate, and professional athletes for three days of competition in dozens of events. It is also one of the best-attended meets, drawing tens of thousands of spectators from Philadelphia and beyond to Penn’s historic Franklin Field. But it hasn’t always been that way.
Max Gallagher’s success extends beyond Penn wrestling
The sophomore wrestler has already competed internationally and defeated All-Americans, and is nowhere near done. Picture this: a freshman, still recovering from a torn labrum and the ensuing surgery, steps onto the mat. Across from him stands Nico Provo, formerly the top-ranked wrestler in his weight class and still a formidable foe. In the opening period, Provo secures two takedowns and jumps to a 6-1 lead. He’s an All-American veteran. His opponent is just a year out of high school.
For Jamaican high schools, Penn Relays offers more than just a chance at championships
Teams from the Caribbean nation have been prominent in recent runnings of the Relays. Each year, the Penn Relays bring together hundreds — if not thousands — of high school athletes to compete in dozens of events. For some, the journey to Franklin Field consists of a short bus ride from elsewhere in Philadelphia or the surrounding areas, but one of the largest contingents of Relays athletes travels all the way from Jamaica.
Penn men’s lacrosse ends Ivy season with 12-8 loss to Princeton
The story of David and Goliath is about resilience in the face of what — on paper — seems like an overwhelming force. It says that with enough determination, some skill, and maybe a little luck, anyone can overcome the odds. Heading into Saturday, Penn men’s lacrosse was the David to Princeton’s Goliath. The Quakers had dropped their last five games and were eliminated from postseason contention for the first time in over a decade.
Penn men’s lacrosse drops fourth straight game in 14-11 loss to Yale
As the saying goes, “April showers bring May flowers.” The rain held off at Franklin Field on Saturday afternoon as Penn men’s lacrosse faced Yale, but a shower of Bulldog goals drowned the Quakers in a 14-11 loss. The defeat was the fourth straight for Penn (4-7, 1-3 Ivy), dropping the Red and Blue to 1-3 in the conference with just three weekends remaining. Meanwhile, Yale (3-5, 2-2) is now in a strong position heading into the final weeks of the regular season.
Offensive struggles doom Penn men’s lacrosse in a 9-8 overtime defeat to Dartmouth
Neither team ever led by more than a goal in a hard-fought contest. All day long, Penn students wore green as they belatedly celebrated St. Patrick’s Day. However, in the evening at Franklin Field, green was an enemy color for Penn men’s lacrosse when the Red and Blue took on Dartmouth on Saturday, March 22. In the end, the spirit of the daytime triumphed on a windy night, as the Big Green emerged victorious by a score of 9-8 in an overtime thriller.
Penn men’s lacrosse drops Phila. rivalry game 11-10 against St. Joe’s
The Quakers never led as they lose to the Hawks for the second straight year This marks the second time in two years that Penn (4-4, 1-0 Ivy) — who came into the match ranked 16th in the latest USILA media poll — had a winning streak cut short at the hands of the No. 18 Hawks (6-2). ld, the Quakers could not keep up the success, losing to Saint Joseph’s 11-10.
Penn men’s lacrosse drops season opener in 8-6 defensive duel against Georgetown
The Quakers were held scoreless in the fourth quarter at Georgetown. WASHINGTON — A regulation lacrosse goal measures six feet wide by six feet tall. But with 6-foot-3 senior goalkeeper Emmet Carroll in net for Penn, it likely seemed a lot smaller for Georgetown’s attackers. Number 19 Carroll — who was named to the USA Lacrosse Division I preseason All-American list with senior defender Brendan Lavelle — tallied 13 saves on a dreary afternoon in the nation’s capital.
Generation GPT
Students taking a class taught or organized by Mathematics and Electrical and Systems Engineering professor Robert Ghrist—who goes by prof–g—often encounter a unique type of tutor. It is available 24/7, not bound by a strict office hours schedule or a reticence to answer emails late at night. It never runs out of practice questions or examples. And it is always able to get back to you in moments, even if dozens of students are asking it questions simultaneously.
Cryptonomicon and the future of money
Today, Bitcoin hit 100,000. But long before crypto bros were salivating on Reddit, Neal Stephenson’s was imagining a blockchain future in his 1999 novel Cryptonomicon.
Crain | Just add victory
The stage was set for Penn football to earn a program-defining win, but a late Harvard comeback spoiled the party. Yesterday, as I sat in the Franklin Field bleachers, the stage seemed perfectly set for a wonderful afternoon of Penn football. The weather was lovely, with few clouds in the November sky. Pregame, the members of Penn football’s senior class were honored on the field, with many of their families present.
Liamsanity: Junior quarterback O’Brien’s path to the record books
O’Brien shined as a runner before taking over Penn football’s starting job. When Liam O’Brien stepped on the field at Cornell’s Schoellkopf Stadium last Saturday afternoon, he was making just his second career start for the Red and Blue. But stepping off the turf three and a half hours later, the junior quarterback had led the Quakers to a victory and enshrined his name in the program’s record book. O’Brien was the field general behind Penn football’s best offensive performance in decades.
Five key games for Penn men’s basketball this season
From conference clashes to city rivalries, here are five matches which could determine the fate of the Quakers’ season. Penn men’s basketball will play a total of 26 games this year, almost evenly split between non-conference and Ivy League opponents. But not all matches are created equal. On the brink of the Quakers’ season tipping off, here are five of the most important games this season. November 15 vs. Saint Joseph’s Penn’s second home game of the year is against a local rival.
Men’s basketball 2024 Ivy League power rankings: preseason
Following a 3-11 conference campaign last year, how do the Quakers stack up in the Ancient Eight? Last year, Penn men’s basketball couldn’t capitalize on a strong start to the season — including a win over then-ranked No. 21 Villanova at the Palestra — and ended the season No. 7 in the Ivy League conference. This meant that for the first time in at least three years, the Quakers missed out on the annual Ivy League men's basketball tournament.
Crain | Where does Penn football go from here?
In 31-10 loss to Yale, the Quakers’ lack of direction was on full display. On Friday night, the stage was set for Penn football to put on a show. The Franklin Field crowd was lively, bolstered by the students and their family members in attendance for Family Weekend. The game against Yale would be nationally televised. And the Quakers had won this matchup last year in New Haven, a contest in which junior wide receiver Jared Richardson set the program single-game receptions record.
Penn women’s soccer battles back in 2-2 draw
The Quakers came back from two goals down to earn their first points of the Ivy season. The saying goes that one doesn’t get a second chance to make a first impression. But Penn women’s soccer clearly didn’t abide by that message this weekend. Following a loss versus Columbia to open Ivy League play last weekend, the Quakers came back from two goals down to tie Yale 2-2 on Saturday in New Haven, Conn. For Penn (1-6-4, 0-1-1 Ivy), this game would be crucial.
Bees and the City
There are beehives on Penn’s campus, but finding them is no easy feat. Past Franklin Field, over a set of railroad tracks, and around the Hamlin Tennis Center, they’re tucked away in Penn Park. Once you’ve made it that far, you’re close, but still, you can hardly notice the bees’ presence. After all, the hives are hidden away in a dell behind thick brush, in an otherwise unassuming wooden shed. But once you trek through the overgrowth and open the door, a new world is uncovered.
Lifer | Caleb Crain
That fall I biked to Fort Greene Park three times to see a Townsend’s warbler, rare because it should have been in California. I staggered, fix-eyed, head back, underneath an elm. The bird was said to look a little like a first-year male Blackburnian. Its moustache sharper. Neck an Easter yellow. A stray’s a chance to see a bird you won’t if you yourself are not a wanderer.
Crain | Penn football should schedule more marque non-conference opponents
A game against an FBS or Philadelphia area foe could help the Quakers and build fan excitement. These last three weekends, before Penn football begins play in a few days, I’ve spent many of my Saturdays watching other colleges’ football games from across the nation.
Pair of late goals push No. 25 Penn men's soccer past Fordham
Seniors Charlie Gaffney and Leo Burney scored in the final 20 minutes of the game. Famous sports broadcaster Vin Scully used to declare "deuces wild" when the count in baseball was two balls and two strikes, and there was a runner on second base. For Penn men’s soccer on Monday night, it was not deuces wild, but instead "treys" wild, as the Quakers scored three goals to gain all three points and win their third consecutive game to start 2024 against Fordham.
Paris Review - Unit One
The building, a brick row house, was only a few blocks from the subway, and Amy got there first. A rose had been left on the stoop, laid vertically on the slanting top of one of the stubby walls that descended on either side of the steps. Against the soft old auburn sandstone, the velvet petals almost glared. Maybe the person who had bought the flower had reconsidered, Amy thought. Or maybe the person the flower was given to had.
Penn women’s soccer opens season with 1-0 loss at Villanova
The game’s only goal was scored 18 seconds into the second half. Classes don’t start until Tuesday, and the first wave of midterms are still several weeks away, but Penn women’s soccer faced its first test of the 2024 campaign Friday afternoon. Unfortunately for the Quakers, their grade was less than desired, as they fell 1-0 to Villanova (2-1).
“Clay,” by Caleb Crain
It was a possum, she was pretty sure. She had seen one once before, when she was a little girl. She had been alone that time, too. She watched it saunter off. She put the bag of trash into one of the steel cans and clanged the lid down hard. She and Lindy should probably get a brick or a cinder block to put on top. In the absence of such a weight, she made the lid as snug as she could.
It’s Shaq’s World-We’re Just Living In It
Shaquille O’Neal—though most just know him as Shaq—announced his retirement from the NBA on June 1, 2011. For most players, this would mark the end; it would be the last time he commanded the public eye, the last time he was regularly watched by large swathes of the country, and the last time people would think about him. Sure, there might be an appearance every now and then, as they discuss a sports opinion on TV or appear in a random commercial.
Review | A brief history of muscles and their meaning
What are big muscles for? They were sidelined long ago by the industrial revolution; engines drive plows and hammer steel more cheaply and less complainingly. Somehow, though, they retain an ambiguous prestige — suggesting eros and authority to some viewers, and exhibitionism and political atavism to others.
Eight goals from junior Anna Brandt help Penn women’s lacrosse defeat Princeton 18-14
The junior midfielder broke the Ivy League Tournament record as Quakers advance to conference title game. There are many ways to mark the conclusion of the school year. Classes end, traditional events like Hey Day and U-Night take place, and Locust Walk is littered with seniors taking graduation photos. Another is postseason play for spring sports. Having been competing since the bleak, cold days of February, teams are finally playing in the spring sunshine, and with stakes higher than ever.
Heartbreak of the Year: Top-seeded men's soccer loses to Brown by penalties in semifinal
The Quakers entered the Ivy League tournament as top seed and the favorites to repeat as champions In 2022, Penn men’s soccer won the Ivy League title and advanced to the NCAA Tournament. There, the Quakers nearly beat Syracuse as the latter made a run to the national championship game. This year, after winning the regular season title and earning the right to host the inaugural Ivy League Tournament, expectations were similarly high for Penn.
Penn men’s lacrosse freshmen finding impact early in Quaker careers
Many of the new Quakers were highly-touted recruits even before their days in the Red and Blue Leo Hoffman would have always been successful. He arrived at Penn men's lacrosse as a five-star recruit, ranked sixth in the country by Inside Lacrosse, following an intense campaign for his services by multiple schools. The freshman midfielder was a key part of the Quakers’ 2023 recruiting class, which would hopefully push Penn over the top to true national championship contention.
Upsets of the Year: Penn men's and women's lacrosse both upset No. 1 ranked teams
The men's team took down No. 1 Duke while the women's team defeated No. 1 Maryland Penn lacrosse always plays a tough schedule. This helps the team get ready for the rigors of Ivy League competition, showcase the team on a national stage, and help increase power ratings with an eye toward a potential at-large bid to the NCAA Tournament.
Trio of Penn football alumni earn NFL minicamp invites
Two of the players transferred for this past season while Jaden Key played his entire career with the Quakers Three former members of Penn football are moving up in the world. After the conclusion of their college careers and going undrafted in the 2024 NFL Draft, three former Quakers have earned invites to attend minicamps with different NFL teams, the first step towards eventually having a chance at earning a roster spot.
Crain | Tyler Perkins wasn’t the first, and he won’t be the last
Players transferring out of the Ivy League have become an alarming trend in recent years In early November, I sat high atop the Palestra’s fabled bleachers and watched something magical happen. For the first time in my tenure at Penn, men's basketball defeated Villanova in a thrilling matchup. Arguably the best player for Penn that game was guard Tyler Perkins.
Penn football to host annual bone marrow drive
This marks the 16th consecutive year Penn has participated in the initiative The drive will take place in three locations on campus from 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. on Tuesday, April 16. In previous editions of the event, nearly 3,000 people registered into the bone marrow database. Furthermore, 24 people have been matched with patients and donated bone marrow.
No. 12 Penn women's lacrosse picks up crucial win against Cornell
The Quakers close out its four-game road trip with a much-needed conference win against the Big Red On campus, the weekend of Quaker Days brought overcast skies. In upstate New York, where No. 12 Penn women’s lacrosse played at Cornell, the conditions weren’t much better. Despite the lack of sunshine, the Quakers’ trip home was brightened with a big win, as Penn defeated the Big Red 11-7 on Saturday afternoon.
Penn women's golf wins Falcon Invitational
Sophomore Julie Shin led the Quakers and won the event overall This past weekend, when most of campus was preparing for some of the first warm spring days and a solar eclipse, Penn women's golf traveled to Bowling Green, Ohio. While in the Buckeye State, the Quakers were crowned victors for the first time this season, having won the team title in the Dolores Black Falcon Invitational. The event was played over 36 holes across two days at the Stone Ridge Golf Club.
Inside the Penn Museum’s Efforts to Respect Native American Origins of Artifacts
When visitors walk through the main entrance of the Penn Museum, they are greeted by one of the signature items in the museum’s collection: a 13–ton granite sphinx dating from the reign of Egyptian Pharaoh Ramses II in the 13th century BCE, the largest such object in the Western Hemisphere. Next to the entrance hall lies a gallery dedicated entirely to people from a different part of the world, and one much closer to Philadelphia.
Penn baseball wins pair of weekly conference awards
Ryan Taylor was named Player of the Week, and Cole Zaffiro was selected as Pitcher of the Week After going 3-1 over the past week, Penn baseball saw a pair of athletes receive Ivy League honors, with sophomore outfielder Ryan Taylor named the conference's Player of the Week and senior right-handed pitcher Cole Zaffiro selected as Pitcher of the Week. This marks the fourth consecutive week that a Quaker has been honored by the Ancient Eight.
Penn wrestling takes 4th at EIWA Championships
Junior Nick Incontrera highlighted a strong leading group for the Quakers This past weekend, Penn wrestling wrapped up its conference season with a trip to the Eastern Intercollegiate Wrestling Association Championships in Lewisburg, Pa. Following the conclusion of the two-day event, the Quakers finished tied for fourth overall and had five wrestlers earn automatic slots to the NCAA Championships in Kansas City.
A Campus Tradition Unlike Any Other
The hallowed halls of Penn field endless traditions. First years celebrate their first steps on campus with convocation and a boozy New Student Orientation. The next four years get filled to the brim with throwing toast onto the field at football games, Hey Day, U–Night, Spring Fling—you get the picture. And at the end of it all, students commemorate the completion of their college years with a week of festivities that culminates in a grand graduation ceremony.
Show More
loading
Actions
Is this you?
As a journalist, you can create a free Muck Rack account to customize your profile, list your contact preferences, and upload a portfolio of your best work.Get in touch with Caleb
Contact Caleb, search articles and posts on X, monitor coverage, and track replies from one place.
Learn more about Muck Rack