I am the Corey Levitan of writers.

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@coreylevitan — 1,031 followers, 1,651 tweets

Sep 23, 2017

Because of my wife's No. Cali accent, "eggs" sounds like "AIDS." So you can imagine my initial reaction every time she asks if I want eggs.

Sep 22, 2017

Desecrating private cemeteries in the name of political correctness is the best way to prove your cause is morally superior.

Sep 21, 2017

Surge @Uber pricing this evening due to the Jewish holidays. #Jewber

Sep 09, 2017

I had no idea that's what hurricanes were caused by. Thank you, @KirkCameron, for making me smarter.

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