David Brinn Silly

As we gather around a roaring campfire under a full moon, I want us to appreciate these gorgeous woods and wonderful fresh air. We're going to have so much fun this weekend! There will be ghost stories, canoeing, Cards Against Humanity, sing-alongs, and of course, delicious s'mores! But first, let's bow our heads in a moment of silence for the group of teenagers from our high school who were brutally slaughtered here one year ago today.

1. Take the day off work! The experience can take between nine and twelve hours. Trust me, you're not gonna want to be on a conference call when it hits. While Silicon Valley CEOs have popularized taking small amounts every day to stay at the top of their game while working (Zuckerberg practically snorts the stuff), we don't recommend “micro-dosing” for the first-timer. Plus, you'll need time to recover and clean up when it's over. 2.

Her fleet of ultralight spacecraft has been hovering over every major city on the planet for the last six months, and while her insectoid army’s laser beams have been enslaving our minds, Earth’s new empress’s fashion sense has been enslaving our hearts. We sat down with our fashionista overlord to find out the products that make Sq’ree-XII’s many hearts beat faster.