Now, I’m bald… or, as some of us prefer to be called, a “Hairless-American.” In fact, I’ve been bald for decades, long before Samuel L. Jackson made it cool. Ah, I’ll never forget that night, summer after junior year of high school, when a girl I’d improbably been making headway with abruptly stopped running her fingers through my hair and said: “What’s this little missing patch back here?” Man, that evening took a sharp turn. You see, like millions of men, I suffer from male pattern baldness.