Reporter for @ArgusLeader. I hunt scoundrels for a living. Peak bagger, Coors athlete, runner, youth soccer coach. Develop now = winning later. #USMNT #USWNT

Search Tweets

Twitter Feed

@argusjellis — 2,591 followers, 3,785 tweets

Gov shutdown diary: With blizzard barreling in from the Southwest, the full weight of civilizational collapse is upon us. With no FCC, there are no longer TV stories reminding us abut snowplows. Meanwhile, the goats too skittish to produce milk.
Gov shutdown diary: Boblandia forces easily routed in battle near Fort Alcester when many become ill with E. coli after drinking from the Big Sioux. Survivors scurry home as Warlord @SDGovDaugaard re-establishes territorial integrity.
Gov shutdown diary: Word reaches the Great Plains that a struggle for power is under way for what was USA. John Elway proclaims himself king. He is soon cut to pieces by forces loyal to Stormy Daniels, who is also vying for the throne.
Gov shutdown diary: Band of goat rustlers apprehended near ghost town of what was Dell Rapids. Shot on sight.
Gov shutdown diary: With void of federal gov, militiamen from Boblandia march north taking stretches of Big Sioux River in the territory of Sioux Falls. Warlord @SDGovDaugaard orders counter attack.
Show More