Josh Millar

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We’re playing football at Molineux next week. James Bird’s head has fallen clean off. For the inaugural MUNDIAL CUP, we are taking on a CALM XI at this historic home of Wolverhampton Wanderers, and it’s all for a good cause. Two actually. Donate a fiver below, guess the score, and you’ll be in with a chance of winning ace prizes via a raffle that we'll be conducting live on Instagram Story after the game next Wednesday.

Twenty-two years ago we lost to Leyton Orient. That was bad. Then we had what seemed like twenty dogshit years at the Millennium Stadium, where we seemed to play Finland every other match, and we lost every time to them as well. Then we went to the Euros. But I don’t think we really need to talk about that anymore. Wales were never meant to be good.