Josie Adams

In addition to daily humor almost every day, McSweeney’s occasionally publishes original and timely creative nonfiction on this website. - - - “That’ll teach me to be a star fucker,” my mother says to me on the phone, before we know for sure. I don’t know if the joke is about the famous actor and actress who are in the chain likely leading back to how my parents got it — if they have it — or about my father. Either way, we all laugh.

Summer is not my best season. I burn easily, I'm always too hot, and chlorine makes my hair green. That being said, it's the time of the year I feel the most healthy: the produce is fresh, I find myself eating more fish, and I do most of my cooking outside on the grill. Grilled food is, hands down, my favorite way to eat. Because of the smoky or charred quality you get when grilling, you really only need the bare minimum of ingredients to make your food shine.

This rendition from Nicky’s in Nashville is classic, but a little elevated with extra pickle juice, Old Bay, and pepperoncini brine. Nicky's Coal Fired 4. Pickle It “If I use mix, it’s Zing Zang ($14 on Amazon). It’s a good base that is already well seasoned—it has a nice spice to it and it’s properly salted, which can be hard to balance. It makes a great jumping off point, and I combine 4 oz. mix with 2 oz. Pickers vodka, 1½ oz. Claussen pickle juice, 1 tsp. Gulden’s mustard, 1 tsp.