Come closer, child. Closer. Closer. Do you wish to hear a scary story? All right, but I must warn you, this story is not for the faint of heart. So if ye be a coward, by the grace of God leave now. If your heart is weak, if your spine be shapeless and yellow, then leave now. For this story is so frightening that it must surely make your heart wish to leap out of your chest and use your spine as a ladder up through which it can flee to the emergency exit of your mouth.