Lillie Franks

Are you job-hunting in a dumpster fire of an economy? Are you getting a lot of recruiters thanking you for your time, but deciding to go with someone else? Do you ever wonder who that someone else is, and what a god-like figure of unimaginable intellectual and interpersonal skills they must be? Behold! For I am he. And here’s how I beat out you unqualified peasants to land this role. I meet all the requirements for the job, most of which are not listed in the job posting.

Gwen. Your feet conquer forests and cityscapes alike. Your average run distance is approximately 7.45645 miles. You are white Usain Bolt. We love you. When your limber legs kiss the pavement, you are no longer a woman. No longer a Procurement & Process Strategist at Salesforce. No longer a cruise ship DJ’s ex-girlfriend banned from Jamba Juice. You are a runner. A fighter. And you’re skinny. So skinny when you run. The skinniest. You could vanish in a slight breeze. But you mustn’t. There’s a run to log, Gwen.

Welcome to 831 Merchant Street! To the unknowing eye, there are items I’ve left behind that appear to be “junk.” Let me assure you, they are not. 3-pack of light bulbs (kitchen cabinet) You’ll notice there’s just one light bulb in this 3-pack of light bulbs. That’s the point. Ask yourself: Do you see two missing, or one remaining? This pliable sense of perception will be important moving forward.