We were playing around with a lot of ideas for sitcoms but they didn't seem real. So we thought, how about what we talk about between ourselves - our kids and the idiotic things that happen in our households?
Do you know what I want in this post-Brexit, Trump-elevating, reef-killing, antibiotic-resistant, strife-strewn pile of bollocks we call life? A laugh, that's what. And God (who is dead) be praised, I got one - more than one - last night, from Morgana Robinson's The Agency (BBC2).
Cat People, whatever claims they make to be their beloved felines' hapless slaves, mostly just sit and envy them, imagining what it would be like to sleep 23 hours a day, wherever we pleased, bask in the sunshine and crap wherever we liked and live a purely selfish, pleasure-seeking life completely free of responsibility.
When it comes to the question "What is art?", I stand firmly in the camp of Jack Donaghy, head of TV and microwave programming in 30 Rock. It is pictures of horses. If you push us, we will accept pictures of ships with sails or men holding up swords while staring off into the distance, but further than that we will not go.
When I recently found myself trying to explain to some friends of mine why I don't put pictures of my five year old son on social media their reactions ranged from baffled - why not share the happiness and wonder that your little darling brings?
As the Guardian's special (albeit self-appointed) Enid Blyton correspondent, it falls to me to break the latest news. Publisher Hodder Children's Books has announced that the Famous Five adventures are to have their language "subtly" updated so it does not alienate today's children.
"Well," says the practice nurse phlegmatically, "I guess the worst-case scenario would be that someone dies." Ah, England, my England. If only all men on missions could be greeted this way. How much time could be saved.
Westworld, a mega-budget remake of the 1973 Michael Crichton film about a futuristic wild-west theme park where people live out their fantasies, and whose AI staff are possibly becoming sentient, poses all sorts of questions about consciousness, humanity and the divine spark.
Muck Rack makes it simple to find people, tweets, or articles that mention any name, keyword, company, hashtag etc. We've compiled this guide to help you make the most of your search.
Selecting a term
Start searching tweets, articles from media outlets, articles mentioned in tweets, journalists'
names, titles and bios with some suggested searches:
Companies or Topics (e.g. iPhone, Microsoft)
Phrases (e.g. "cloud computing") — use quotes to keep the terms together
Twitter handles (e.g. @username) — returns those who have mentioned or replied to
Names (e.g. "David Pogue")
Hashtags (e.g. #sxsw, #london2012)
Bio details (e.g. vegan, Olympics, father)
Muck Rack's Advanced Search allows for many boolean operators.
Find results that mention multiple specified terms, use AND or
+. For example, ensure each result contains both Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg by
searching Obama AND Romney or Obama + Romney.
Use the operators OR or , to broaden your search when you'd like either of
multiple terms to appear in results. (This is the default behavior of our search when no operators
are used.) For example, search for democrat OR republican to find results that refer to
Democrats and/or Republicans.
Use NOT or - to subtract results from your search. For
example, searching Disney will yield results about the Walt Disney Company as well as Walt Disney
World Resort. To exclude mentions of Disney World, search for Disney -World or Disney
When using one of these operators with a phrase, enclose it in quotation marks. For example, you can
find results about smartphones excluding Apple's iPhone 4S by searching smartphone -"iPhone
Use parentheses to separate multiple
boolean phrases. For example, to find journalists talking about having fun in Disney World or
Disneyland, search for ("disney world" OR disneyland) AND fun.
An asterisk can be used to search for any variation of a root word truncated by the asterisk. For example, searching for admin* will return results for administrator, administration, administer, administered, etc.
A near operator is an AND operator where you can control the distance between the words. You can vary the distance the near operation uses by adding a forward slash and number (between 0-99) such as strawberries NEAR/10 "whipped cream", which means the strawberries must exist within 10 words of "whipped cream".