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Articles by M. s.
Feel Like You Live for the Weekend? Small Ways to Recharge During Your Week
So many people feel like they just need to get through their workweek so they can finally relax and unwind on the weekend. They feel like they’re running on a treadmill they can’t get off from Monday to Friday, and on Saturday and Sunday, they can finally collapse on the couch or actually have fun.
How to Really Get Important Things Done
You start researching something important online and find that 20 minutes later you’re on some stranger’s Facebook page, scanning their photos and reading the comments. You’re writing an article, and before you know it, you’ve picked up your phone and started scrolling Instagram. You’re working on a presentation, and every 2 minutes you refresh your inbox. You also send a few texts, and see what’s on clearance on your favorite clothing site.
When You Crave Control of Everything
You like to have things under control. Your home has to be organized in a particular way, and so does your schedule. You get stressed out when your days don’t go as planned — your child gets sick and misses daycare, you run into terrible traffic, a client cancels a meeting, your partner doesn’t want to attend the party. Often it doesn’t take much for you to feel frustrated, frazzled and downright overwhelmed. Any disturbance to the status quo feels unbearable.
How Working Parents Can Regularly Reconnect and Strengthen Their Relationship
In 2016 author Jessica Turner surveyed 2000 working moms. Two-thirds said that marriage or making time for their partner was a challenge. For instance, one working mom wrote: “My husband and I are so busy and tired that we ‘forget’ to pay attention to each other.” Another wrote: “My husband and I find it difficult to find time to have any sort of conversation outside of work and kids.” Another working mom expressed: “I feel as if I have become a roommate to my husband.
How to Deal with an Especially Cruel Inner Critic
It’s common for you to have a running commentary in your mind that sounds something like this: You’ll never get that job. You’re not smart, cool or creative enough. That fight was all your fault. You don’t belong at that party with those accomplished people. You’ll never finish that project. You’ll never achieve that goal. Who do you think you are? If you don’t get a perfect grade on that paper, it’ll confirm you’re a fraud. Scratch that. You are a fraud. You’re also a terrible mother.
Why Work-Life Balance is Futile-and What to Focus on Instead
Many of us feel guilty, anxious or uneasy when our work overrides family time and vice versa. Maybe lately you’ve been working long hours to meet a variety of deadlines. Maybe you’ve also been working most weekends. Or maybe you’ve been focusing more on family time, which has meant that you’re working fewer hours. You’ve been closing up shop early so you can drive the kids to sports practice, and eat dinner together — and you’re too tired to pull the split shift.
A Promising Therapy for Healing PTSD
When he left active duty, Brian Anderson, an Army Green Beret with 14 years of service, 33 months in combat and 3 Bronze Stars, started experiencing symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). “I started questioning my existence, whether I was alive, thinking I was in purgatory and thought I actually died in Afghanistan and had to right everything that went wrong,” said Anderson. “I suffered from a lot of survivor’s guilt and was living in a real dark space.
Important Lessons We Learn from Our Kids
We teach our kids lots of things. We teach them how to read and how to share. We teach them to do chores and to work hard. We teach them how to make good decisions and how to drive. We teach them what it means to be good citizens. But we aren’t exclusively educators, mentors and tutors. We’re students, too. And our children are pretty incredible teachers.
Your Clutter May Be Concealing Some Critical Truths
It’s hard to imagine that the clutter stacked on our countertops, and stuffed inside a few cabinets, closets and maybe the garage could signify an important revelation. It’s hard to imagine that it’d spark insights about who we are and what we need. But it can.
Surefire Strategies That Don’t Work for ADHD - And Some That Do
Knowing what works for attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is just as important as knowing what doesn’t. In fact, some of the tactics you’re using might even exacerbate your symptoms. Whether it’s techniques that you’ve tried yourself or others have employed, below are seven surefire ways to unsuccessfully cope with ADHD. Plus, at the bottom you’ll find techniques that actually do work. 1. Unsuccessful strategy: Criticizing.
Understanding What Your Emotions Are Trying to Tell You
Understanding our emotions is vital. For starters, as therapist Rachael Morgan said, our emotions aren’t going anywhere—and that’s a good thing. “Being human and having emotions is a package deal. And thank god! Would we really want to be robots, or efficient, non-feeling machines?” She noted that our emotions are a gift, because they tell us how we’re doing. They give us information to protect us from harm.
When You Feel Absolutely Awful About Yourself-Regularly
Many of Ariella Cook-Shonkoff’s clients are convinced there’s something fundamentally wrong with them. They believe they’re broken or damaged. They believe they’re not good enough. They yearn to be like anyone else. They believe they deserve to suffer because of who they are. Priscilla Rodriguez’s clients believe that because of their bad decisions or mistakes, they don’t deserve to be treated well, or to live a good life. Do you believe this, too? Do you feel the same way?
“Synthetic Metals”: A Novel Role for Organic Polymers (Nobel Lecture)
Since the initial discovery in 1977, that polyacetylene (CH)x, now commonly known as the prototype conducting polymer, could be p‐ or n‐doped either chemically or electrochemically to the metallic state, the development of the field of conducting polymers has continued to accelerate at an unexpectedly rapid rate and a variety of other conducting polymers and their derivatives have been discovered.
“Synthetic Metals”: A Novel Role for Organic Polymers (Nobel Lecture)
Since the initial discovery in 1977, that polyacetylene (CH)x, now commonly known as the prototype conducting polymer, could be p‐ or n‐doped either chemically or electrochemically to the metallic state, the development of the field of conducting polymers has continued to accelerate at an unexpectedly rapid rate and a variety of other conducting polymers and their derivatives have been discovered.
8 Art-Inspired Techniques to Spark Self-Discovery
Art can help us to discover who we are. Who we truly are. Through art-making, Carolyn Mehlomakulu’s clients have gained insight into their real emotions, hopes, goals, values, strengths and needs in relationships. They’ve gained insight into how their past continues to influence them today. By examining how they make art, her clients also have gained insight into the different ways their judgment, doubt and perfectionism manifest. Knowing ourselves is vital for everything, isn’t it?
Heath: Five things you need to know about your thyroid
The thyroid is a small gland with a big job.It sits in your throat, just above your collarbone, and although everyone has one, few people really understand how it functions.
Unsure About Treating Your Bipolar Disorder, or Seeking Treatment Again?
You’ve been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Or you suspect you have it. Sometimes, you feel a persistent, relentless kind of darkness. You feel like you can’t breathe. Or you feel numb. Hollow. You have zero desire to do anything. The smallest tasks feel burdensome. And other times, you feel on top of the world. You feel like you can stay awake for hours. And hours. And you do. You feel like you can work for hours. And hours, too. You feel extremely restless or irritable.
People with Bipolar Disorder Share How They Started Treatment-and Why They Stick with It
Bipolar disorder is highly treatable, and yet so many people don’t seek treatment. Or if they do seek help, they later stop taking their meds or stop attending their therapy sessions. Or both. And then their bipolar blows up. Their mania spikes. Their depression sinks even deeper. Sticking to treatment is not easy. Medication has side effects. Therapy takes work. The illness itself can be stubborn, exhausting, confusing. It can all feel so frustrating.
How to Use Anxiety to Your Advantage
We think of anxiety as something terrible and awful and wrong. We think it makes us weak and worthless, deficient and defective. And we keep our anxiety hidden like a shameful secret, telling ourselves regularly that we’d be mortified if anyone ever found out. Being anxious is like “a private prison we carry with us,� writes Alicia H.
Teaching Young Kids to Tolerate Uncomfortable Emotions
Your child starts wailing because they want to play with your phone, and you took it away. So you promptly give it back. Your child is anxious about an upcoming performance at their preschool, so you immediately tell them there’s nothing to be nervous about, and it’ll be perfectly fine. Your child is sad about a fight with their friend, so you try to cheer them up. You make jokes, tell them not to be upset, and mention that they have sooo many things to be thankful for.
Why Don't Therapists Talk About Themselves in Session?
In any relationship, when you reveal something vulnerable about yourself, about your life, the other person typically does the same. Maybe they don’t do it in the same conversation, but over time, they share personal, private information, too. Or, if they don’t, you likely know a lot about the person you reveal your heart to — or, at the very least, you know their age, their family situation, where they live, what they like.
3 Challenges That Chip Away at a Couple's Connection-And What You Can Do
Our connection with our partners waxes and wanes. After all, we regularly get disconnected from ourselves. When you add another person to the mix, along with the many variables of life, it makes sense that on some days you feel incredibly close and connected as a couple, and on other days, you feel worlds apart. This is normal. And understandable. Thankfully, it’s also something you can change and improve.
The Most Damaging Myths about Motherhood
You should be able to get pregnant right away. It’s what women’s bodies are designed to do. You should love being pregnant—or at least embrace it. After all, you’re growing a child! Pregnancy is when you get to enjoy all those feel-good hormones flowing through your body—and after you give birth, you should be thrilled to hold that baby in your arms. You’re supposed to instinctively bond with your newborn, and know exactly what they need.
5 Essential Communication Tips for Couples
Many couples make this mistake: They expect and assume that harmony will automatically happen in their relationship. But the opposite is true: “What appears automatically in human relationships is friction,” said Chris Kingman, LCSW, a psychotherapist and couples expert in Manhattan. That’s because partners have different preferences, styles, expectations and needs, he said.
When You Feel Like Your Body Has Betrayed You
You couldn’t get pregnant easily, and needed fertility treatments. You had a miscarriage. Or several. You developed complications during your pregnancy. You delivered your baby preterm. Every single one of Parijat Deshpande’s clients feels like their bodies have betrayed them because of the above reasons.
Are You Telling Yourself Stories That Are Keeping You Stuck?
I don’t know anything about business, so how could I possibly succeed? I don’t want to get involved in ‘marketing’ because marketers are slicksters who try to get people’s money. When Kate Swoboda started working for herself, these are the stories she carried. She didn’t question them. Instead, she believed them wholeheartedly. She wholeheartedly believed that she innately didn’t understand business-related information, and clearly couldn’t succeed.
Are You Using Work to Numb Yourself?
While my dad was in the hospital, on a ventilator with five chest tubes attached to his body, I thought it was a good time to start working on my website and a new blog. I’d sit in his room every day for two months reading about WordPress themes and coding tips. I’d spend lunch thinking of clever names for my blog and equally clever topics. As I think back, this was ridiculous. While my father was lying in hospital bed, in a medically induced coma, I was learning how to create headers.
Feel Like Time Is Tight and Fleeting? This Can Help
We are all pressed for time. All. The. Time. We feel starved for it. That’s why there are countless articles with hacks for saving 30 minutes (and sometimes 30 seconds) on all sorts of tasks every single day. We yearn for more time. We wish for it. We regularly talk about wishing for it. It feels like time slips through our fingers like sand. But not everyone feels this way. Many people feel like time is plentiful, which is interesting since all of us have the same number of hours in our days.
When You Feel Defective and Deficient for Struggling with Anxiety
You’re struggling with anxiety . Maybe you had your first panic attack when you were in high school while taking a final. Maybe you had a panic attack in college while driving or grocery shopping. Maybe since then you’ve been having panic attacks regularly. Maybe it’s not panic attacks at all. Instead you’re constantly on edge. If they gave out medals for worrying, you’d no doubt take first place. Everything makes you anxious and uncomfortable. And it’s absolutely exhausting.
7 Critical Coping Strategies to Teach Your School-Aged Kids
We aren’t born with the ability to cope with our emotions. We have to be taught. And many of us weren’t taught healthy strategies. Maybe we were yelled at or sent to our rooms. Maybe we were told to calm down and stop crying. Either way, feelings weren’t discussed in a positive light—if ever. Maybe we watched our parents internalize their stress, shut down or lash out. And, as a result, we froze or freaked out when we started feeling stressed or anxious.
How to Communicate with Your Teen When Your Connection is Waning
When your child becomes a teen, you might feel your connection with them weakening. It seems to be harder and harder to talk to them about anything, harder and harder to bond over the activities, games, movies, books, jokes and topics you used to bond over. Your teen no longer wants to listen to you or follow your rules.
True Narcissists Aren't Who You Think They Are
You went on a few dates with a guy who talked about himself incessantly and didn’t ask a single question about you. Your coworker is constantly telling you that your way is wrong. She always seems to have her own agenda, and kisses up to your supervisor, while putting others down. All. The. Time. Clearly a narcissist. Your childhood friend only talks about his own problems, and always needs help with something. Anytime you need help, he suddenly disappears.
When You're Never Satisfied with Yourself
You finished all the tasks on your to-do list. You got a promotion. You aced a test. You met an important goal. You landed an important client. You worked really hard today. And yet it’s not enough. It’s never enough. There’s always more to do. There’s always more you can do. Many of us rarely feel satisfied with ourselves and our accomplishments.
Simple Strategies to Help Your Life Run Smoother (And Stress Less)
Sometimes the smallest things can drain our energy. Trying to find something you can’t find—a document, an email. Remembering a recipe. Wrangling a crowded to-do list. Checking and rechecking our phones. Prioritizing tasks (and totally overthinking it). A routine-less morning. That also means that the smallest things can make a big difference in our energy and stress levels.
Everything Happens for a Reason—And Other Things Not to Say When Tragedy Strikes
“Well, it’s the good kind of cancer. You will be better soon.â€? Those are the words Elizabeth Gillette heard from some people when she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at 21 years old. She would need several rounds of chemotherapy followed by radiation treatment. She was terrified — and shocked to hear anyone refer to her cancer as good.
7 Ways to Live a Creative Life
Unless we’re artists, when we think of paintbrushes, play and simple pleasures, we often think that’s for people who aren’t that busy, people who don’t have the responsibilities I have, people who don’t have kids. That’s for people who are not me. But these things are the very ingredients of a meaningful, satisfying life. Of a creative life. And while different seasons allow for different opportunities, each of us has time for that.
How to Help Your Child Handle Their Anger-Even When You're Uncomfortable with It
Most of us have an uncomfortable relationship with anger. Maybe we see it as an aggressive, explosive emotion. Maybe we see it as confusing and overwhelming. Maybe we associate it with sadness. Either way, when we feel the first signs of frustration, many of us ignore it. We push it down. Far down. And this is precisely what we do with our kids’ anger. When our kids start getting mad, we teach them to ignore it, too. We tell them they shouldn’t get angry. We reprimand them.
What Is Normal Eating?
Today, the definition of normal eating is blurry. It’s gotten lost amid buzz words like “diet,” “restriction,” “willpower” and “flat abs.” It’s sandwiched between the sizable stacks of “shoulds”: I should diet. I should abstain from dessert. I should count calories. I should avoid “bad” foods. I should have an invisible stomach, smaller hips and thin thighs.
What to Do If You Get Easily Embarrassed
The clients that see Brooklyn-based psychotherapist Emmy Kleine, LMHC, tend to feel embarrassed about three things: money, sex and their bodies. And they assume these issues are unique to them. They assume their behavior isn’t normal. Lena Aburdene Derhally’s clients tend to feel most embarrassed at work or in social situations — where they also tend to feel most judged by others. They feel embarrassed about making mistakes. They ruminate about whether they said the wrong thing at a get-together.
Thriving with an Invisible Chronic Illness
You have a chronic illness that is debilitating and requires meticulous management. Which is hard enough. But you also have an invisible illness—like fibromyalgia, diabetes, Lyme disease, IBS, or something very rare. On the outside, on most days, you look fine, even perfectly healthy. But on the inside, you’re struggling with unbearable migraines, knock-you-off-your-feet fatigue, dangerous digestive issues, severe pain and much more.
When You're Overwhelmed with Being an Adult
Working, paying bills, making meals, managing a household, running errands, making important decisions….adulthood isn’t for the faint of heart. Responsibilities regularly pile up. And it becomes a lot to juggle and handle on a regular basis. And there isn’t exactly a class we take that prepares us for the nitty gritty of the day to day. In fact, many of us go off to college with little to no training about how to handle the basics—like bills, budgeting and taxes.
How to Inspire Your Writing (and Your Life) Every Day
There are various clever quotes about why inspiration is unnecessary for writing. After all, writing is work. After all, plumbers don’t need to be inspired to do their jobs; they just do their jobs. The same goes for electricians, attorneys, and doctors. And if we wait to write until we’re hit by some magical wand of inspiration, we might never start in the first place. This is true. Being able to work whether you feel inspired or not is important. It’s a great skill.
When You're a Highly Sensitive Mom
When you’re highly sensitive, being a mom can sharpen your sensitivities. After all, kids are loud and boisterous and messy. Which can be uncomfortable and overwhelming, making the desire to retreat somewhere quiet even more acute and urgent. But, of course, retreating isn’t exactly possible when you’re a parent. In general, when you’ve got kids, there’s very little alone time. And, of course, alone time is vital for highly sensitive people (HSPs) in order to recover and recharge.
Suggestions for Savoring Solitude
Many of us don’t like being by ourselves. Instead of savoring our alone time, we just feel lonely. One of the reasons might stem from how our society views solitude. For instance, there’s the underlying pressure to be paired up, said Alison Thayer, LCPC, CEAP, a psychotherapist at Urban Balance. How often have you seen a restaurant table set for one?
Bipolar Disorder
Gabe Howard’s biggest fear is that his bipolar disorder will get worse. “I’m more worried about the symptoms of bipolar disorder coming back than I am about anything else. Literally anything else. I’ll walk through the streets after midnight in New York City and not be a bit concerned about being attacked — but I’ll be terrified of losing everything to bipolar disorder.” Elaina J. Martin also fears getting sicker.
How to Really Rest
It seems silly to write an article about rest. After all, rest is kind of like breathing: It’s automatic. Or rest is like brushing your teeth: It’s something we naturally do every day, several times a day. But for many people rest isn’t part of their lives, at least not regularly, or at least not genuine rest. Many of us are too focused on striving and never stopping. Because, we think, to stop is to quit. Because, we think, to stop is to be lazy.
9 Ways to Use Art to Practice Self-Care
For artist Stephanie Medford self-care is vital. And it’s much more than manicures, massages and bubble baths. For Medford, who struggles with anxiety, self-care is getting over 8 hours of sleep each night. It’s meditating. It’s moving her body and being in nature. In fact, art is the foundation of her self-care.
A Serious Postpartum Disorder You Probably Haven't Heard About
Within 24 hours of her second daughter’s birth, Dyane Harwood felt elated. From the moment she came home from the hospital, she started writing. Furiously. She wrote while nursing her daughter and going to the bathroom. She wrote on her hands, on the bathroom mirror, inside books and on tabletops. She yearned to write down every thought she was having. She wrote so much that her wrists ached—her carpal tunnel returning—and she was in constant pain.
How to Be Kind to Yourself
We tend to think that we have to earn self-kindness. That is, in order to be kind to ourselves, we must meet certain conditions. We must not make mistakes. We must work out five times a week. No exceptions. We must keep a tidy, organized home. We must make “healthy” meals. We must check off everything on our to-do list. We must excel at work, and produce, produce, produce. We cannot fail. Under any circumstances. And if we don’t meet these conditions, then we punish ourselves.
Is Your Toddler Struggling with Anxiety? What You Need to Know
Anxiety issues can start early. Very early. In fact, you can spot the signs in toddlers. Which is important because contrary to what many people believe, anxiety struggles don’t dissipate with age. Kids don’t grow out of their anxiety. Instead, their anxiety simply morphs into other behaviors. According to Janine Halloran, a licensed mental health counselor who specializes in kids and teens, separation anxiety may turn into refusal to go to school.
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