Mason Barrett

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only. We did it, America. Democracy is saved. The 2026 Midterms are over and instead of a blue wave we got a tsunami big enough to turn this country into 1995’s “Waterworld”, starring Kevin Costner on a mission to find dry land in a world completely submerged in water. Oh, yeah, we won.

Editor’s Note: This article is purely satirical and fictitious. All attributions in this article are not genuine, and this story should be read in the context of pure entertainment only. Gather around friends, whether you be Democrat, Republican or Independent. I have a tale for you. It’s one of humble beginnings and audacious endings. We lay our scene in Petersburg, Alaska, a tiny fishing village seated in the Alaska Panhandle, only reachable by air or sea.

Keywords early-life stress ventral tegmental area epigenetics chromatin histones histone post-translational modifications epigenetic priming H3K4me1 Setd7 stress Introduction Early-life stress (ELS) is a risk factor for mental health and substance use disorders due to increasing sensitivity to subsequent stressors.1,2,3,4 Mouse models of stress across the lifespan faithfully recapitulate these clinical findings, such that small behavioral differences after ELS are exaggerated in response to...