What I know about Polish food could be scrawled on the back of a cornichon. With a great big black felt tip. OK, so I’m pretty certain that pig’s big, and pickles rule. Plus lots of herring, dumplings and beetroot. And while I can just about tell my bigos (stew) from my borscht (soup), I couldn’t begin to spot the difference between golonka, gulasz and golabki. Thank God, then, for the experts. Fay, the queen of restaurant critics. And Hoppy, former chef and gilded food writer.