Patrick Metzger

The small changes that change everything Press enter or click to view image in full size Photo by author Just before his eighth birthday, my son Conall came to me and said “Can I call you Dad?”. Until then, I’d always been “Daddy”. It was inevitable, of course. I’d already overheard him with his friends referring to me as “my dad”. You always think you’ll have more time. It seemed too soon to know that he would never refer to me in that familiar, touching way, that he would not always be my baby boy.

Sweary Mommy (n.)  — a publication of salty, unfiltered essays and listicles for parents, teachers, and caregivers. Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to pee free — of small children who insist on being in the godd@mn bathroom with us. Revisiting a children’s folk classic with a critical eye Warning: You may be thinking “Metzger’s title must be a metaphor to discuss MAGA or AI or some other contentious issue of the day in a hilarious yet hard-hitting way”. Wrong.

Sweary Mommy (n.)  — a publication of salty, unfiltered essays and listicles for parents, teachers, and caregivers. Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to pee free — of small children who insist on being in the godd@mn bathroom with us. A love story in feathers and stains Press enter or click to view image in full size The couch in all its fine disarray, and the boy avoiding social media celebrity.