Around this time every year I look forward to a letter from my friend, Pamela Hillings Tegtmeyer, Pasadena's manners maven. For the past 40 years, she has compiled an annual pantheon of the Most Well-Mannered Persons in the San Gabriel Valley. Pam has an impeccable pedigree in the rules of social conduct, which includes up-close and personal experience. The daughter of the late Phyllis and U.S. Rep. Patrick J.