When I was 25, I found myself trapped in yet another abusive relationship. Following my big sister Stephanie's suicide when I was 22, I had fallen into a downward spiral of self-abuse. I drank, danced, and overworked myself into sicknesses. When I couldn't inflict enough pain on myself to match my internal turmoil, my subconscious drove me into the welcoming arms of a series of brutally abusive men that were dead-ringers for Prince Charming (in the beginning).