Venus O'Hara

I discovered the fetish gaze in my formative years, and honestly, it completely blew my mind. It was not what I expected at all. It was not simply about sex. It was attention to detail, nuance, psychology, humour, observation. It felt incredibly stimulating and deeply sapiosexual. Looking back, I think it was one of the first times I realised that desire could be intellectual as well as physical. The word “fetish” is often misunderstood.

155 From Virgin Island to Real-Life Intimacy Work: Sexual Surrogacy with Andre Lazarus April 30, 2026 Welcome to episode 155 of The Orgasmic Lifestyle Podcast with Venus O’Hara. In this Flower Moon episode, we discuss virginity and sexual confidence. We speak with André Lazarus who is a somatic intimacy guide from the Channel 4 show Virgin Island.

I was recently asked on a podcast, what does sex mean to you? For someone who has devoted the last 17 years of her professional life to sexual wellness, you’d think I’d have had a neat, polished answer ready to go. But I didn’t. I had to actually sit with the question. And when the answer came out of my mouth, it surprised even me. I said, it’s the gateway to God. And the truth is, I think I’ve always felt that. I’ve always known it on some level, but I’d never quite found the language for it.