I used to do a lot of push-ups. Then, one day, my right shoulder abruptly said no más. Coincidentally, days later I saw my doctor. To be clear, I live by “See doctors, not too much, only when sick,” but my insurance policy insists on an annual visit. So once a year I skulk into the office and prove why doctors make awful patients—particularly when they’re washed-up, windbag, wiseacres who don’t practice medicine. To his credit, however, my doctor is kind and attentive, and quickly noticed my wincing.