I was in my late teens the first time I came out to myself and my closest friends. There was a flourishing of sexual ambiguity and fluidity in my friend group then, and I embraced it. Outside the safety of that circle, however, any divergence from heteronormativity was closely guarded. I turned 18 in 1996. I knew I was some flavour of queer, but the idea of coming out to my family, colleagues or anyone outside of that friend group was unimaginable.