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@l_tousignant — 562 followers, 3,215 tweets

Chicago Style Pizza West would have been cooler.
I love telling myself "Everything happens for a reason" because it's so much easier than saying, "I probably fucked this up."
(•_•) <) )╯ BE / \ (•_•) ✓( (> YOUR OWN / \ (•_•) <) )> ELLEN / \ \(•_•) ( (> POMPEO / \
Next time someone asks me how I am, instead of saying “Fine,” I’m going to play “It’s a Sunshine Day” from “The Brady Bunch” and perform the choreographed routine I’ve been perfecting since I was seven.
Pirates trading an All-Star to Giants sounds like the plot of a really weird but super awesome kids' book.
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