For the audio version of this article, read by the author, go here. My father was an abusive jerk. He cheated on my mother, driving her to crazy extremes, and she often took her frustrations out on my younger brother and me. Me, my mom, and my brother. My dad also gaslit us, convincing us that my mother was the real villain of the family. When I was twenty-eight, I asked him point-blank if he’d ever cheated on my mother, her most frequent and bitter accusation.