Sue Gelber

essays Slide between my pages and get to know me better Hey, girl, it’s me. The book at the bottom of your “To Be Read” pile. I thought maybe tonight we could hang out. You can slip me out from under this stack, slide between my pages, and get to know me better. We deserve some quality time, just you and me, away from the eight books you heaped on top of me. And those four next to the lamp. I’ve been on this bedside table for two years, and I want to take this relationship to the next level.

What’s that, honey? No, I’m not going to bore them with stories. I just want to tell them how great and unique and authentic our trip was! We were on a five-day tour, so we really got to know this place. And our guide was born there, so we’re kind of like locals now. He shared so much interesting information! Yes, honey, I know he gets paid to do that, but you could tell he really liked us.

Coming to Broadway: Classic Plays about Modern Air Travel *** Sue D. Gelber is a humor writer whose work has appeared in The New Yorker Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Electric Literature, among others. She’s Humor Editor at the and can be found online at suedgelber.com. | & | In addition to being a staff illustrator for the , Elly Lonon is the author of the graphic novel, , based on her satirical column. Visit EllyLonon.com for more writing and illustrations. More from this author →