Skip To Main Content
Elly Lonon on Muck Rack

Elly Lonon

Verified
(She/Her)
Jersey, New Jersey, New York
As seen in: McSweeney's, Medium, The New York Times, HuffPost, The Washington Post, Washington Post Opinions, Barnes and Noble, Stuff.co.nz, The New Yorker, The Boston Globe, Real Simple and
Covers:  Social Justice, Parenting, Healthcare, Pop Culture, Lifestyle, Music, Humor
Doesn't Cover: Tech
Writer of Wrongs, Defender of Ukuleles, author of #AmongstTheLiberalElite #binders @NYTimes, @McSweeneys, @O_Magazine, @washingtonpost @realsimple she/her

Get in touch with Elly

Contact Elly, search articles and posts on X, monitor coverage, and track replies from one place.

Learn more about Muck Rack

Actions

Share this page

Elly Lonon’s Biography

Read Full Bio →

Elly's writing has been featured at The New York Times, The Washington Post, Real Simple Magazine, O Magazine, and a disappointing number of now defunct sites. She's also appeared in several parenting humor anthologies. (full clips available at ellylonon.com)

Her first full-length work, a graphic novel with illustrator Joan Reilly was released by powerHouse Books in 2018. AMONGST THE LIBERAL ELITE: The Road Trip Exploring Societal Inequities Solidified by Trump (RESIST), follows gently-aging hi…

Elly Lonon’s Journalist Portfolio

See all →
Opinion | I had an abortion. It's none of your business why.

Opinion | I had an abortion. It's none of your business why.

“I had an abortion, and I need no one’s forgiveness. Nor should I need your permission.”

View article →
After cancer, she taught herself to play the ukulele. Now, followers are asking for tips.

After cancer, she taught herself to play the ukulele. Now, followers are asking for tips.

Occasionally, someone asks for tips about learning how to play. But this year, as the coronavirus pandemic ha…

View article →
Growing a Baby After a Tumor

Growing a Baby After a Tumor

"It's surprisingly hard to kill a person. They taught us that in med school." That's what my father, a retire…

View article →
Odysseus the influencer

Odysseus the influencer

If the waterlogged hero had Instagram.

View article →
Why I Haven't Told My Kids I Had Cancer

Why I Haven't Told My Kids I Had Cancer

I've never said the word "died" in front of my children. I've never said "dead" or "death" either. I've never…

View article →
"Humans of New York," But Make It the End Times - Electric Literature

"Humans of New York," But Make It the End Times - Electric Literature

Fan of the best-selling Humans of New York book series? Then buckle up for the newest spin: HUMANS OF THE APO…

View article →

Articles

Children Are A Bad ROI (Return On Investment)

|
By Elly Lonon Verified
| YourTango Verified
If you could return your kid, would you? By Elly Lonon — Last updated on Jun 07, 2023 Photo: chalermphon_tiam / Shutterstock "Don't say anything nice to me, K? I might cry." I closed the classroom door behind us and pulled my youngest onto my hip. "Rough night?" She tried to put on a stocking cap, but her toddler pulled it from her head repeatedly. "Night? Honestly, I don't even remember how last night went.
Open in Who Shared Issue with article?

14 Things I'm Going To Do Once I Retire My Boobs From Breastfeeding

|
By Elly Lonon Verified
| YourTango Verified
It's time to hang up the jerseys, engrave the gold watches, book the country club, and order the sheet cake. After five years of pregnancy and nursing, I'm ready to retire these fun bags and return to a life free from milk-stained shirts. (Or, at least, the milk stains that originate from inside the shirt. I'll admit my kids are still a bit behind on their fine motor skills.) I'm so very ready to regain sole custody of these Gerber gozangas.
Open in Who Shared Issue with article?

Coming To Broadway: Classic Plays About Modern Air Travel

|
By Sue Gelber, Elly Lonon Verified
| The Rumpus
Coming to Broadway: Classic Plays about Modern Air Travel *** Sue D. Gelber is a humor writer whose work has appeared in The New Yorker Daily Shouts, McSweeney’s Internet Tendency, and Electric Literature, among others. She’s Humor Editor at the and can be found online at suedgelber.com. | & | In addition to being a staff illustrator for the , Elly Lonon is the author of the graphic novel, , based on her satirical column. Visit EllyLonon.com for more writing and illustrations. More from this author →
Open in Who Shared Issue with article?
See all 359 licensed articles (366 Total)

Interview

See all →

Have you ever used a typewriter?

Yes. In fact, I just had my dad's refurbished at a local typewriter hospital! I'm having a blast playing with it.

How is social media changing news?

Sometimes I miss receiving my news alert push notifications via the morning newspaper.

How do you prefer to be pitched on stories?

I prefer to receive pitches via email. (I am terribly inconsistent in checking messaging on SM.)