R. Eric Thomas
(He/Him)
you won’t believe this but I have a nationally syndicated advice column, a newsletter, 4 books, and a Costco card. Find them here: linktr.ee/oureric
Articles by R. Eric Thomas
Asking Eric: My boyfriend and my college friend share a middle-school history - and it’s not a good one
Advice Published: Oct. 19, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years. I recently reconnected with a friend from college who I’ve really missed. After we hung out a few times, I introduced my college friend to my boyfriend at a casual dinner. Things did not go well. It turns out they went to middle school together.
Asking Eric: Boyfriend and college friend have conflicted history
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready... Dear Eric: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years. I recently reconnected with a friend from college who I’ve really missed. After we hung out a few times, I introduced my college friend to my boyfriend at a casual dinner. Things did not go well. It turns out they went to middle school together.
Asking Eric: Boyfriend and college friend have conflicted history
Asking Eric: Boyfriend and college friend have conflicted history (washingtonpost.com) Asking Eric: Boyfriend and college friend have conflicted history By R. Eric Thomas 2026101904010500 Dear Eric: I've been dating my boyfriend for about five years. I recently reconnected with a friend from college who I've really missed. After we hung out a few times, I introduced my college friend to my boyfriend at a casual dinner.Things did not go well.It turns out they went to middle school together.
Asking Eric: Boyfriend and college friend have conflicted history
Man with bad teeth. PUBLISHED: October 19, 2026 at 12:01 AM EDT | UPDATED: October 19, 2026 at 12:12 AM EDT Dear Eric: I’ve been dating my boyfriend for about five years. I recently reconnected with a friend from college who I’ve really missed. After we hung out a few times, I introduced my college friend to my boyfriend at a casual dinner. Things did not go well. It turns out they went to middle school together.
Sweater: Here for It, #
Hi! It's R. Eric Thomas. From the internet? Hi! Oh, everyone in the Northeast went into their cedar chest and pulled out their lil Say Something Sweater this weekend I see! Yes, folks felt a little chill in the air and they said, "lemme go on and hit the people with a Personality Wool right quick." Baby, you better go on with your bad self and your Deliciously Chunky Knit or Cozy Cashmere Cowl Neck.
Asking Eric: Daughter's cold shoulder had mom feeling crushed
Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work. So, I had someone take my picture in front of one of our machines and I sent it to her.
Asking Eric: My teen won money with my help, then said the drawing wasn't me
Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work. So, I had someone take my picture in front of one of our machines and I sent it to her.
Asking Eric: Former vet tech needs a tactful response to complaints about veterinary bills
Advice Published: Oct. 18, 2026, 5:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I’ve been a CVT (it’s like being a RN but for animals) for more than 20 years. While I still work within the veterinary industry, I had to stop working in veterinary hospitals in 2016 as I was no longer able to make a living wage. I find that conversations about pets inevitably lead to comments bashing the veterinary industry. These comments usually surround the cost of care.
Asking Eric: Former vet tech can't escape accusations of greed at every gathering
Dear Eric: I’ve been a CVT (it’s like being a RN but for animals) for more than 20 years. While I still work within the veterinary industry, I had to stop working in veterinary hospitals in 2016 as I was no longer able to make a living wage. I find that conversations about pets inevitably lead to comments bashing the veterinary industry. These comments usually surround the cost of care.
Asking Eric: Former vet tech gets an earful about rising medical costs
Dear Eric: I’ve been a CVT (it’s like being a RN but for animals) for more than 20 years. While I still work within the veterinary industry, I had to stop working in veterinary hospitals in 2016 as I was no longer able to make a living wage. I find that conversations about pets inevitably lead to comments bashing the veterinary industry. These comments usually surround the cost of care.
Asking Eric: What should a former vet tech say when clients complain about prices?
Dear Eric: I’ve been a CVT (it’s like being a RN but for animals) for more than 20 years. While I still work within the veterinary industry, I had to stop working in veterinary hospitals in 2016 as I was no longer able to make a living wage. I find that conversations about pets inevitably lead to comments bashing the veterinary industry. These comments usually surround the cost of care.
Asking Eric: My daughter won $100 in a drawing contest, but crushed me in the process
Advice Published: Oct. 18, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work.
Asking Eric: What can this former vet tech say when people bash cost of care?
Dear Eric: I’ve been a CVT (it’s like being a RN but for animals) for more than 20 years. While I still work within the veterinary industry, I had to stop working in veterinary hospitals in 2016 as I was no longer able to make a living wage. I find that conversations about pets inevitably lead to comments bashing the veterinary industry. These comments usually surround the cost of care.
Asking Eric: I know she's a teen, but why does my 15-year-old's coldness suddenly hurt so much?
Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work. So, I had someone take my picture in front of one of our machines and I sent it to her.
Asking Eric: I was proud to be in my daughter’s artwork. What she said crushed me.
Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work. I had someone take my picture in front of one of our machines and I sent it to her.
Asking Eric: Daughter’s drawing hurts mother’s feelings
Dear Eric: I have a typical 15-year-old teenage girl. She is my world, and I do everything I can for her, knowing the general cold teenage response I will get. It usually doesn’t bother me. Recently she has been wanting money for hanging out. There was a contest from my employer to draw a safety picture and win $100. She decided to enter it, and she asked for a picture of my work. So, I had someone take my picture in front of one of our machines and I sent it to her.
Asking Eric: People I just met keep asking me out, and I can’t do that
Dear Eric: It feels like so many people are very lonely ever since the pandemic. I love having friends, but I have been declining social engagements because I don’t have the energy or the time in my day. I am an older lady (70) and still working a very physical job while being mobility-challenged. I meet lots of people every day. I am the chatty type who likes everyone. By the end of the day, I am just exhausted. There isn’t a lot of time or energy left for me to socialize.
Asking Eric: My sister hates our 89-year-old dad - why can't she just ease up on him?
Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call ‘Beth.’ We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she’ll watch him go in the ground and leave. She used to speak ill of my mom as well.
Asking Eric: We don't have much more time left with 89-year-old dad. Why is my sister so mean to him?
Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call ‘Beth.’ We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she’ll watch him go in the ground and leave. She used to speak ill of my mom as well.
Asking Eric: I can see lonely people want friendship but I'm too drained to meet up after work
Dear Eric: It feels like so many people are very lonely ever since the pandemic. I love having friends, but I am an older lady (70) and still working a very physical job while being mobility challenged. I meet lots of people every day. I am the chatty type who likes everyone, but it seems like people are desperate for friendship in the world right now. I am just exhausted by the end of the day; there isn’t a lot of time or energy left for me to socialize.
Asking Eric: When sister says she'll watch our father go in the ground and leave, I'm upset
Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call ‘Beth.’ We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she’ll watch him go in the ground and leave. She used to speak ill of my mom as well.
Asking Eric: I'm done listening to my sister complain about our elderly dad
Advice Published: Oct. 17, 2026, 5:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call ‘Beth.’ We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it.
Asking Eric: My 64-year-old sister's grudge against our father may never be healed
Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call ‘Beth.’ We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she’ll watch him go in the ground and leave. She used to speak ill of my mom as well.
Asking Eric: I have a kind heart, but I'm 70 and too tired to socialize
Dear Eric: It feels like so many people are very lonely ever since the pandemic. I love having friends, but I am an older lady (70) and still working a very physical job while being mobility challenged. I meet lots of people every day. I am the chatty type who likes everyone, but it seems like people are desperate for friendship in the world right now. I am just exhausted by the end of the day; there isn’t a lot of time or energy left for me to socialize.
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready... Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call “Beth.” We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she’ll watch him go in the ground and leave.
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress (washingtonpost.com) Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress By R. Eric Thomas 2026101704010500 D ear Eric: I'm writing about my 64-year-old sister I'll call "Beth."We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province.For her own reasons, Beth has a hatred toward him.
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress
Lonely woman. PUBLISHED: October 17, 2026 at 12:01 AM EDT | UPDATED: October 17, 2026 at 12:19 AM EDT Dear Eric: I’m writing about my 64-year-old sister I’ll call “Beth.” We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he’s your 90-year-old Dad, drop it.
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress
Dear Eric: I'm writing about my 64-year-old sister I'll call "Beth." We are three sisters. Mom passed away nine years ago. Dad is 89, living in another province. For her own reasons Beth has a hatred toward him. She complains she gets a 45-second call once a week about how he drank and gambled away the money he got from a brother. I look at it as: he's your 90-year-old Dad, drop it. She has even said when he passes, she'll watch him go in the ground and leave. She used to speak ill of my mom as well.
Asking Eric: Sister’s ongoing conflict with father cause family stress
Health 7 hours ago Found Out You Have Dense Breasts? Here’s What Doctors Say to Do Next Good Housekeeping - Jenn Sinrich • 7h Doctors explain how breast density affects both mammograms and cancer risk—and how to figure out if you need additional testing. Getting a “normal” … Kim Kardashian 1 day ago Kim Kardashian’s 46th Birthday Dress Is Basically Just a Bunch of Strategically Placed Strings InStyle - Juliana Ukiomogbe • 1d The Skims founder enjoyed an oceanside celebration.
Teacher’s Trauma Reaches a Tipping Point
After 19 years in the classroom and seeing students’ grief, abusive homes, and horrific stories, a teacher’s trauma has reached a tipping point. Advice columnist Eric Thomas weighs in. Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed.
Asking Eric: I can't tell if I'm the problem at work or if everyone else is
Advice Published: Oct. 16, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I really cannot tell if I’m the problem at work. I’ve been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project. Other members of the team have joined or fallen away, but the core group has been largely the same. At the beginning I had my doubts about some of the people and their work styles. A few members seemed to be all talk. The team leads were in over their heads.
Asking Eric: Coworkers complain about each other to me, but are they talking about me too?
Dear Eric: I really cannot tell if I’m the problem at work. I’ve been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project. Other members of the team have joined or fallen away, but the core group has been largely the same. At the beginning I had my doubts about some of the people and their work styles. A few members seemed to be all talk. The team leads were in over their heads.
Asking Eric: Coworker in toxic workplace wonders ‘am I the drama?’
Getting your Trinity Audio player ready... Dear Eric: I really cannot tell if I’m the problem at work. I’ve been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project. Other members of the team have joined or fallen away, but the core group has been largely the same. At the beginning I had my doubts about some of the people and their work styles. A few members seemed to be all talk. The team leads were in over their heads.
Asking Eric: Co-worker in toxic workplace wonders ‘am I the drama?’
Asking Eric: Co-worker in toxic workplace wonders ‘am I the drama?’ (washingtonpost.com) Asking Eric: Co-worker in toxic workplace wonders ‘am I the drama?’ By R. Eric Thomas 2026101604010600 D ear Eric: I really cannot tell if I'm the problem at work. I've been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project.
Asking Eric: How can I share inherited money with friends without seeming showy?
Advice Published: Oct. 15, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: My husband and I are the fortunate recipients of our parents’ inheritances. We worked hard and lived within our means, so we are secure in our retirement, and this money is not needed but a generous gift. I would like to use this money for enrichment of my life and my friends’ lives, like picking up the check or paying for vacation condos.
Asking Eric: Is the common denominator in my workplace complaints - me?
Advice Published: Oct. 15, 2026, 5:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I really cannot tell if I’m the problem at work. I’ve been on a team for the last four years. We mainly focus on one project. Other members of the team have joined or fallen away, but the core group has been largely the same. At the beginning I had my doubts about some of the people and their work styles. A few members seemed to be all talk. The team leads were in over their heads.
Asking Eric: I’m worried my inheritance will make my friends uncomfortable
8 hours ago Is the U.S. an 'inheritocracy'? Economics analyst says there's a 'new ruling class' of billionaires YouTube • 8h There is a new class of billionaires who inherited their family wealth and businesses. Co-host of the "Prof G Markets" podcast Ed Elson joins Katy Tur to explain how the inheritances compare to international stock markets. MS NOW: My Source for News, Opinion, and the World.
Asking Eric: Friend's boyfriend stole my perfect gift idea for her. I don't even like this guy
Dear Eric: I bought a friend tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to. I didn’t ask her about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. I gave her the tickets for her birthday, and she looked surprised and annoyed. I said, ‘What?’ She told me her boyfriend already gave her tickets to the concert. Well, I got mad about that. I don’t really like her boyfriend, first off. Second, she and I had talked about the concert.
Asking Eric: Bestie’s boyfriend beats me to the punch on perfect birthday gift idea
Dear Eric: I bought a friend tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to. I didn’t ask her about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. I gave her the tickets for her birthday, and she looked surprised and annoyed. I said, ‘What?’ She told me her boyfriend already gave her tickets to the concert. Well, I got mad about that. I don’t really like her boyfriend, first off. Second, she and I had talked about the concert.
Asking Eric: I tried to surprise friend with a thoughtful gift, but her boyfriend beat me to it
Advice Published: Oct. 14, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I bought a friend tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to. I didn’t ask her about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. I gave her the tickets for her birthday, and she looked surprised and annoyed. I said, ‘What?’ She told me her boyfriend already gave her tickets to the concert. Well, I got mad about that. I don’t really like her boyfriend, first off.
Asking Eric: After years of helping hurting kids, I’m exhausted, angry and ready to walk away
Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I tried my best to comfort him. I never let these instances interfere with my attitude on life or my job. I was always able to move on and not let it get me down.
Asking Eric: I wanted to give my friend a meaningful gift - her boyfriend beat me to the punch
Dear Eric: I bought a friend tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to. I didn’t ask her about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. I gave her the tickets for her birthday, and she looked surprised and annoyed. I said, ‘What?’ She told me her boyfriend already gave her tickets to the concert. Well, I got mad about that. I don’t really like her boyfriend, first off. Second, she and I had talked about the concert.
Asking Eric: Teaching traumatized children is breaking my heart - and burning me out
Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I tried my best to comfort him. I never let these instances interfere with my attitude on life or my job. I was always able to move on and not let it get me down.
Asking Eric: Teaching traumatized kids has left me angry, sad and ready to quit
Advice Published: Oct. 14, 2026, 5:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I tried my best to comfort him.
Asking Eric: I thought I scored a great gift for my bestie - then this happened
Dear Eric: I bought a friend tickets to a concert she had mentioned wanting to go to. I didn’t ask her about it because I wanted it to be a surprise. I gave her the tickets for her birthday, and she looked surprised and annoyed. I said, ‘What?’ She told me her boyfriend already gave her tickets to the concert. Well, I got mad about that. I don’t really like her boyfriend, first off. Second, she and I had talked about the concert.
Asking Eric: Teacher traumatized by students’ crises
Dear Eric: I have been a teacher for 19 years. I have seen a lot. As a mandated reporter I have had to make the call to the authorities with some frequency. I have also had other children who had prior abuse and I was always a shoulder to cry on when needed. I have felt intense sadness at times, as when a student’s sibling was murdered. I tried my best to comfort him.
Asking Eric: I’m sure my co-worker lied about having a boyfriend, and it confuses me
Dear Eric: I am a male; a new female co-worker started around Halloween 2025, and I introduced myself on day one. The next week she comes over to my work area and asks me why I am so quiet and then she asks me a lot of personal questions and I answer only a few. Later, she tells me she is good at stalking people, and she looked me up online. I laughed it off and said, “Thanks for the honesty.” She tells me she has no friends and I say I don’t either.
Asking Eric: I'm into new coworker, but she keeps shoving me into the friend-zone
Dear Eric: I am a male, a new female coworker started around Halloween 2025, and I introduced myself on day one. The next week she comes over to my work area and asks me why I am so quiet and then she asks me a lot of personal questions and I answer only a few. Later, she tells me she is good at stalking people, and she looked me up online. I laughed it off and said, ‘thanks for the honesty.’ She tells me she has no friends and I say I don’t either.
Asking Eric: Couple friends never turn down an invitation - also never extend one
Advice Published: Oct. 13, 2026, 5:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: My husband and I have known a couple for 25 years, and we had a lot of fun times together. I have always been the person who hosts dessert after every occasion over the past 23 years plus many dinners. They participated occasionally in the first few years but do nothing now. I have begun to pull away from them, and they just keep trying to make plans with us.
Asking Eric: New coworker sent me a lot of mixed signals and now I'm confused
Advice Published: Oct. 13, 2026, 4:00 a.m. R. Eric Thomas writes the "Asking Eric" advice column.TNS Dear Eric: I am a male, a new female coworker started around Halloween 2025, and I introduced myself on day one. The next week she comes over to my work area and asks me why I am so quiet and then she asks me a lot of personal questions and I answer only a few. Later, she tells me she is good at stalking people, and she looked me up online.
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