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Stephen Statler on Muck Rack

Stephen Statler

San Francisco
As seen in: McSweeney's, Points in Case
Comedy Writer/Father/Husband. My novel, Gods of Glenhaven koehlerbooks.com arrives June 2025. www.mcsweeneys.net/authors/stephen-statler
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Stephen Statler’s Journalist Portfolio

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It Looks Like I'm Gonna Be Super Busy Til I'm Dead

It Looks Like I'm Gonna Be Super Busy Til I'm Dead

Hello Sam! How long has it been? We HAVE to get together. I miss you so much. I am clearly just the Uber driv…

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A Week of Radically Honest Pillow Talk

A Week of Radically Honest Pillow Talk

HER: I notice that your towel stinks after one shower. I worry that if you stink that bad on the outside, you…

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List: How Little League Baseball Turns Dads Into Assholes: A Mathematical Equation

List: How Little League Baseball Turns Dads Into Assholes: A Mathematical Equation

Where x = batting average of son y = dad's personal dreams unfulfilled m = years left in dad's marriage with …

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Dad, Can I Please Get Machine Gun Your Face 4 for Christmas?

Dad, Can I Please Get Machine Gun Your Face 4 for Christmas?

Dad, can I please get Machine Gun Your Face 4 for the Xbox? Logan has it and Caden has it. It's way less viol…

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It May Be Your Sabbath, But It's Our 3rd Grade Championship - Punchnels

It May Be Your Sabbath, But It's Our 3rd Grade Championship - Punchnels

Dear Ben, I totally respect that your particular religion requires you to abstain from sports on Sundays. But…

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Questions and Answers from Donald Trump's IQ Test

Questions and Answers from Donald Trump's IQ Test

President Donald Trump suggested he's smarter than Secretary of State Rex Tillerson, saying in an interview p…

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List: Things Rex Tillerson Did Not Call Donald Trump

List: Things Rex Tillerson Did Not Call Donald Trump

"[Secretary of State] Tillerson had openly disparaged the president, referring to him as a 'moron,' after a J…

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The LeashFree® Pet Containment System is a Clear Violation of the Geneva Convention, Jeff

The LeashFree® Pet Containment System is a Clear Violation of the Geneva Convention, Jeff

I get that you have to work. I get that you can't leave me inside the house because I'd go through the garbag…

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Can Thunder Win NBA Title Without Durant? (19 Comments)

Can Thunder Win NBA Title Without Durant? (19 Comments)

C an Thunder Win NBA Title Without Durant? (19 Comments) by Stephen Statler -------- COMMENTS (21) DradleCock…

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Especially Bitter Selections from Hallmark's "Rancor Collection"

Especially Bitter Selections from Hallmark's "Rancor Collection"

Now you work at Best Buy. When it comes to getting older There's really nothing funny to say. If I could do i…

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My Weekend at Uncle Trader Joe's Cabin in the Woods

My Weekend at Uncle Trader Joe's Cabin in the Woods

On Friday, we hiked to a secluded waterfall, snacking on Flax and Chia Seed Fruit Bars and Sliced Jalapeño Yo…

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