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Patrick Coyne on Muck Rack

Patrick Coyne

Verified
Midwest
As seen in: Communication Arts, Medium, The New Yorker, Flipboard, Cracked, Independent On Saturday, Saturday Star, The Sacramento Bee, El Nuevo Herald, Fort Worth Star-Telegram, The News & Observer and
Coyne Architects Architectural firm led by Patrick Coyne, focusing on solutions for Government, Education, Healthcare and Commercial clients.
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Articles

Enjoy Our Beach House, but Please Don’t Open the Beguiling Door of Mystery

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By Patrick Coyne Verified
| McSweeney's Verified
Welcome to your beachside getaway. We are so glad to have you as our guests. Feel free to unpack, relax, kick off your shoes, and become better acquainted with your surroundings. Your vacation officially starts now… Just a tiny request. You see how the house has one locked door? The nondescript, yet alluring door catty-corner to the second-floor powder room? Do not try to open it. It may be five o’clock somewhere, but it is never ominous-door o’clock here, no matter how it beckons.
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I am Emperor Caligula, and Even I Think the White House UFC Event Is a Bit Much

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By Patrick Coyne Verified
| McSweeney's Verified
I am Emperor Gaius Julius Caesar Augustus Germanicus Caligula, successor of Tiberius, Son of the Divine Germanicus, and Supreme Commander and Holder of Tribunician Power, Pontifex Maximus. And I decree, in regard to the upcoming White House UFC event… It’s a bit much, right? Like even for me. Pretty gauche, no? Caged brutes pummeling one another bloody on the historic lawn of the Executive Mansion? All to celebrate President Trump’s birthday? Come on, what are we doing here?
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Updates on the Status of the Tuna Melt You Ordered

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By Annie Cimack, Amy Currul, Patrick Coyne Verified
| Points in Case
Hey there! Just checking in. You ordered a tuna melt, right? Perfect, we’ll have that out for you in a couple minutes! Hi, sorry to interrupt! So, it turns out we ran out of cheddar. Would Swiss be all right? Great, I’ll let them know. So it looks like our last shipment of tuna just ran out. Not to worry! There’s another truckload coming in just a few. Excuse me, so sorry! Chef Roberts was trying to open the new tuna can, and his thumb got stuck in the ring. It’s no problem at all.
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